I have seen this statement as a bumper sticker over the years. The other day while having lunch at Red Fern with a friend I saw it again drive right past me again, while I sat having verbal vomit about a host of nonsense. In that split second, it hit me.
Crap! My ego got me again.
As I sat and had lunch and complained about my bodies aging breast or aching hips.
Or rants about ridiculous drivers or raging tweets from narcissistic individuals. I stopped in that moment and reflected back on how loudly my ego was screaming at me to separate myself from others and judge them. Even, how my ego invited me to judge my own body and to judge what I perceived to be wrong in others. So, as we sat in the outside portion of the restaurant and the driplets of rain started to come down, I remembered a moment with my mother.
I may have been eleven or twelve years old and she was sitting with me on my grandparents porch on Rich Street in Columbus Ohio. I was doing my favorite thing with my mother. Brushing her hair. I loved my mothers hair. It was straight hair, the kind of straight hair that people are paying for but instead hers was "natural." It was hair different from mine, which was thicker, kinkier and well, "natural" also. The rain started then also and I remember saying, "momma, your so lucky, you can go into the rain and your hair doesn't kink up." She laughed and gave me a gentle smile and said, "Joy, get that idea out of your head." I sulked a little and continued brushing.
Getting that "idea out of my head" was a lesson I believe my mother was trying to teach me, about how I identify with who I believe that I am. The constant comparison that we are better, strong, prettier or less than, weaker or uglier is the constant chatter that our egos scream in our heads. And as my mother informed me so many years ago, we got to get that out of our heads. My ego roommate in my head wishes for me to keep separate from others in the midst of comparisons but the reality is, I am not. The reality is, we are not.
The word Ubuntu, means that "you are because I am" speaks to the interconnectedness of each and every person. The principle is supposed to be a guide to how we treat each other in daily life and how we treat ourselves. It is a principle that is rooted in love. It is something that we need to wake up to understand. That WE ARE INTERCONNECTED.
So as I sat in the rain, not worrying about if my hair would get wet, I heard my mothers voice again, "Joy, get that idea out of your head." Then I apologized to my truest and deepest self for lowering the vibration of love. Then I apologized to the unknown person that I judged so harshly. Then I apologized to my own body and spoke words of healing and love to it.
We all have moments of temporary insanity, listening to the ego in our heads. But the space gets further and further apart the more that we practice loving better and deeper. You see, the ego is not our amigo. But love... well that is a different story. Love is our friend. And love will always be there. Inviting us, to get those ideas out of our heads.
Wake to love,
Imani
